For the first time in a long, long time, I attended (and participated) in a cycling event. The past year was filled with life changes, injuries, and the loss of my mother. Being an introvert, I really wasn’t in the correct head space to surround myself with the chaos of a bike event and the energy of too many people.
I dipped my toe in the bike racing spectator pool for an hour or so in the Spring. That event was nothing like yesterday’s event because the former was a roadie event and I was there ti simply support a friend who was racing and visit with another friend…and then leave. Easy-peasy.
Yesterday, however I was surrounded by people whom I believed to be “my people”. People of the dirt and mud.
I was faced with a very real question…are they? I had been gone for most the year and suddenly people with whom I had always been friendly looked right past me. It felt like I didn’t exist because I was no longer “a racer”…something that I had only been for a few years and had reduced more and more each year since 2013. 2016 however was the first year in which I stopped showing up even to spectate.
So, I sat with how I felt for a bit and let the sting fade as I rode.
There was no great drama or falling out.
No one was rude or unkind.
We had all simply lived our lives for the past year and crossed paths less while others crossed paths more.
As the day wore on, some connections were reestablished and new ones made.
Different fun with different people; not better or worse.
Life goes on. It isn’t always about us v. them. Often the “they” in the scenario made their life choices without consideration of you just as you did with yours.
People evolve. We want that. Sometimes that means that they leave our life. And we have to let them, as you sometimes have to leave theirs. It happens all the time and often seamlessly.
Yesterday felt like a hello and a good-bye; both comforting in their own perfect way.
It was a new year, a new day, and a new moment in time.
And I am happy for it.